Thursday, March 27, 2008

Here there be Skrulls

Despite the fact that I'll be passing on Secret Invasion I just have to be impressed by the fun that Marvel is having with their promotional material. Their latest photos of Skrulls at the Marvel office put it over for me. So I had to come up with my own list of the top 10 Skrull suspects:
10. Michael Jordan -- C'mon, the guy could fly!

9. Gary Oldman -- I swear this guy shape shifts for every movie he's in. He's not even trying to hide it. And I've also had my eye on Christian Bale ever since watching the Machinist.

8. Shannon Tweed -- Who, other than a Skrull, could look that hot at fif... I mean forty-one. ;) Plus, her sticking with Gene Simmons this long has to be some sort of alien plot that makes use of his money and influence with the KISS army.

7. Sean Combs -- His constant name changing is him compensating for not being allowed to change his appearance.

6. Tinkerbell (Paris Hilton's dog) -- I'm convinced that he's the brains behind her "success".

5. Wayne Gretzky -- Another case of in-human abilities.

4. Ric Flair -- Fifty-nine years old and still working in the wrestling scene? Gotta be a Skrull.

3. Angelina Jolie -- Just look at her.

2. Elvis Presley -- He ain't dead, he just took another form.

1. Jon Stewart -- What better way to infiltrate us than to have us ridicule our leaders and laugh off serious political issues. Plus, the story can end with a Stephen Colbert/Jon Stewart face off because we know Colbert ain't no Skrull.

And to answer the question on a lot of people's minds, no, Tom Cruise is not a Skrull. Though I would put him at the top my list of Skrull sympathizers.

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